THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize