How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize