Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
