I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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