come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
