Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
