She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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