when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
