I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
