Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
