youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
