My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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