About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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