Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
