Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
