Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How does one acquire holy water?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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