Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
