I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
