I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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