It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
