I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
