I just made out with a guy for $7.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
