Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
