so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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