What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
