when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
