Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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