Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
