there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
