in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
