I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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