so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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