his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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