With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
