Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
