I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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