Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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