I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
