I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Olympian is in my bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
