Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
