I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
