dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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