Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
