so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
