peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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