it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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