She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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