So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
