Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
