I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
