do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
