The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
