normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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