New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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