Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
