I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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