it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
