Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
