That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Bring me that man meat
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
