she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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